Such a tragedy… Still feeling anger and hate even now.
I was completely ignorant of this until about 1:45pm PST. Normally, I don’t watch cable news networks on weekends. I’ve gotten my fill of Lockup:Raw and the assorted other contenders. I was listening to the Saints-Seahawks game and during a commercial, I flipped over to KFI here in Los Angeles and was floored. Seriously, when I heard the news, it felt like a gut shot. That’s not meant to minimize what the real victims are going through. But I just couldn’t believe my ears.
When I got home about 2 hours later, I turned on the TV and warmed up the computer. As most of you already know, I am a frequent commenter on the Huffington Post. That’s probably where most of you found me and were kind enough to click on a link and take a look at my ramblings. As I watched, and read, I couldn’t hold the tears back. It really touched me on two levels:
First and foremost, FUCK!! (sorry for the swear word but nothing else seemed to be right). SO many innocents. A 9-year-old girl? WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE DO TO DESERVE THIS? GODDAMN, I WANTED TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE MYSELF!!! Just typing this right now is bringing me to tears. If I have been keeping track properly, 19 injured and 6 dead. What did any of them do to deserve this?
Second, so I got home and watched the news on MSNBC and kept track of the comments on Huffington Post and the comments section on the FoxNews site. It took about 2 minutes and I immediately grew ill. On the one hand there was the Huffington Post with a strong network of community moderators. For the most part, the comments there were decent with the odd exception. Then there was the comments section for this story on the FoxNews website…. Can anyone here recommend a good hypnotherapist? I really need to get that shit expunged from my head. Some of the things that were being said there were beyond partisan politics, by both sides. I went to the bathroom and vomited several times.
The truth is that in the first several hours after I had heard about all of this, I had a really hard time pushing a violent anger down and trying not to hate. My first inclination was to lay waste to everything and everyone who wasn’t as smart or as rational as me. Then I realized something….
This dialog has gotten out of hand on both sides. I will say, in my honest opinion, that I believe the radical right tends to use words like socialism and throw around the nazi designation far too freely. But the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that there aren’t really any degrees. If I call you stupid and you call me a nazi, aren’t we both wrong? There is no more right and more wrong. There is only WRONG. And today was a prime example of WRONG.
As I watched the comments on Fox, I have to say that it was pretty disheartening. I realize that Fox doesn’t provide community commentators but I have to be honest, there were some things being said there that……… Christ, I can’t even begin to insult it in the way it should be. The right would yell the left was trying to pin this on them and then suggest that the neo-nazi party and skinheads are “liberals” and that the left should have understood that their agenda would lead to something like this. Then there were the suggestions by the left that the hate speech being used as a matter of convenience by the right is just a smoke screen to forward their agenda.
I really don’t give a damn who is right tonight. I find the continued debate on both websites over who is right and who is wrong to be offensive. There are several people dead and many more injured. FUCK…. I MEAN FUCK partisan politics. It disgusts me that to radical lengths and to lesser lengths, even after a tragedy like this, there are people trying to shape the public opinion.
All I can say is that to be honest I am no religious man. But in times like these, I really hope that if there is a God that he will be merciful to those innocent victims.
I’d like to say that I can be big enough to forgive the asshat that did this. But I won’t lie,…. I’m not there today/tonight. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. For today and tonight, can we all just be Americans and stop the saber-rattling on both sides? If you want to be obnoxious, just thing about the life of that poor 9-year-old that is done. Shut your mouth, the left and shut your mouth, the right…. At least for a few days. Hopefully much longer.
I am still dealing with my anger so I hope if you are reading this that you will understand that the wound is fresh and raw.
What I can say is that I hope that neither the dems or the GOP come out on top from this horror. I hope they all understand that this isn’t a moment to take advantage of a political opportunity.
Sorry for the dour tone. I hope you all understand my point of view. If not, I hope you will come tell me why I am wrong.
Either way, thanks for participating.